It’s hard to ask for help. Mai Williams of Himatangi Beach knows that better than most. She has always been strong and independent, but when she reached out to Arohanui Hospice for support, support for both her and her beloved Trev, the response was fast, caring, and exactly what they needed.
It all started with what we thought was really bad reflux but turned out to be our worst nightmare
Mai’s partner of 30 years Trevor Field was diagnosed in April 2024 with cancer of the oesophagus which spread to his liver. Stage 4, inoperable and he had less than a year. “We just took each step as it came and tried to get through each day together.” Trev died on 3rd February 2025, aged 61, with Hospice and hospital care surrounding him and with his soulmate, Mai, and family by his side.
Hospice became involved about two months after Trev’s diagnosis. By then, his pain was increasing, and his medication was constantly changing. “There were so many pills,” Mai said. “I’d finally get them sorted and then everything would change again. When Hospice came in, they listened, reviewed and they took action. They helped get his pain under control. They explained why the medication changed, how to give it safely, and what to expect on the hardest days. They taught me so much. If I knew then what I know now, I would have called them much earlier.
“I always thought the Hospice was somewhere you go to die but it’s not. It’s where you go for help with pain management, ongoing support and a hug.”
Hospice helped source the equipment Trev needed. Mai could attend workshops at the Hospice that covered practical needs such as equipment and what to expect going forward on our cancer journey. The help included services such as legal advice, information as to whether we were eligible for financial assistance, biography service, what would happen to Trevor as his death approached, and most important of all — reassurance. “I could ring anytime. They were always calm but very firm where required. They always helped. I never felt alone.”
Within a couple of months, with Hospice guidance, Trev had organised everything to make sure Mai would be safe and secure when he was gone. Wills were completed, the mortgage was paid off, and he arranged for Mai to have a more reliable and safer car. Trevor sold and gave away all his tools in the shed, and sold his Indian FTR1200 motorbike. He even organised his own funeral, emphatic that it was going to be as simple as possible.
“He wanted to do that while he was still mobile and had a strong mind,” Mai said. “He wanted to make sure I’d be looked after. That was Trev, practical, loving, always thinking of others.”
Mai has many memories of Trev’s last year. He was a man full of life, always up early, in a rush to get to work. Every day was a new adventure for Trev. They didn’t have children together, but he was Pop and Koro Trev to Mai’s children and mokopuna. “He wasn’t great with tiny babies,” she laughed. “He’d held our first grandbaby about four months old and you could see sweat beads popping out of his face. But he was great with children and spent so much time with them, especially his mokopuna.
“They adored him and treasured all the memories and laughter they shared together.”
He was a passionate biker, riding Triumphs over the years and later his Indian FTR1200. He loved the annual Coast to Coast ride. “This year, he couldn’t go, he didn’t have the energy to ride his bike. All his energy was used fighting the cancer and chemo symptoms. But we still went down to see them off. He didn’t want to miss it.”
Trev worked as the yardman for TRC Tractors in Feilding, keeping the site spotless and the machinery gleaming. Mai said TRC Tractors were like family and are still fantastic.
Trev had his last chemotherapy on December 24, 2024, with a specialist’s appointment booked for a fortnight later.
“We were told there were no further treatment options, our specialist said there was nothing more they could do. Trevor asked to go into his workplace one last time. His mum and brother David took him in on a Saturday morning, thinking no one would be there, but instead the whole team had gathered.
“Everyone came to see him,” Mai said. “It was one of his happiest days for a very long time.”
Trev hoped to pass away at home, in his own space. But when his breathing worsened and his pain became unmanageable, he needed to be in hospital, with medical support. Palmerston North Hospital cared for him gently until the end; he passed away before he could be moved to the Hospice as planned. His Hospice nurse still came to visit him, which meant a lot to them both. “He loved those nurses,” Mai said. “They were so good to Trev.”
After Trev died, the grief was deep and immediate. “Of course, you’re not going to stop crying, we’re still crying now,” Mai said. Even with her own whānau in Whakatāne she never felt alone. She was surrounded with support from her family, from Trev’s family, and from the wider community, who cared for them both.
The Hospice also supported Mai through their evening grief programme, creating a space where she felt truly safe. “I am a very private person,” she said, “but Hospice made it easy to be open. I trusted them. They already knew Trev, and they understood what I was going through.”
In that small group, Mai found comfort in being with others who felt the same hurt, frustration, love, and loss. “We could cry, we could laugh, we could share treasured memories… and no one judged you. Everyone understood. It was a place where I felt held.
“I did my best for Trev, and Hospice was there with me, helping, every step of the way.”
Mai looks back knowing she gave Trev everything she could, and that Hospice walked beside them at every stage of their journey, with aroha, guidance, and strength.
Trevor Field and Mai (Girl) Williams celebrating Trev’s 61st birthday, surrounded by family and friends from near and far, with the Himatangi Beach community coming together to honour him. A day filled with love, laughter, and cherished memories for all who loved him.
